Supreme Mattress of the Universe

Occasionally I question things in the realm of spirituality and Christianity.
I was raised Christian.
I still technically hold that to be true.
I mean... for real... there has GOT to be some mighty power out there.

However... sadly, I think I am becoming more and more of a Deist.
Not exactly a Deist, though.
I think God likes to poke fun sometimes and play around...
so God is not necessarily out of the picture.

I was chatting with a friend about something, and at some point I used the word "God". She stated that she does not believe in God.
I mentioned that I believe God exists, but not sure what purpose that God serves.
I mentioned that I believe that there is some supreme Master of the Universe.
She concurred that perhaps this is true...
but that it might actually be the Supreme Mistress of the Universe.
At first I said that this would imply that there was a male involved somewhere. Then, I thought about it for a second... and admitted that this term could work too...

Then, the thought of what Gender the Supreme Being is came into question.
"What do we call 'it' ?"

To avoid confusion, I just said we should call it the Mattress.
She agreed. She believes in the Supreme Mattress.

Alrighty. So then the idea that we had just formed a religion came up...
She did not like this idea.
So... I said that she would not have to pay any money to be a part of it.
"Are you sure it is a religion."
To which I replied...

"YES. The Supreme Mattress bestowes Love and Kindness to all, and asks for nothing in return."

So.... there you have it.

The Supreme Mattress of the Universe.

It rules over all. It does not involve itself in the everyday lives of humans, but it can if it wants to.

.....

Disclaimer: Please do not take this seriously and think that this is actually a religion.... Wait until tax-exempt status is granted.