Anomalies

A while back, I though about something.
Language is very interesting.
For example, think about the letter N.
It can be used to mean "And", despite the fact that it sound like "in".
So, it would be perfectly fine to release a mainstream movie entitled Fun with Dick and Jane.
You could also say Fun With Dick -n- Jane.
However, you could NOT say Fun with Dick in Jane.
In fact, you might even get hit with a hefty fine.

On another note,
Monday night, this 'woman' came up to me and quietly informed me that one of the restrooms was "atrocious". So, I turned to the nearest female employee and told her that she needed to check the restroom.
Her question to me was, "Am I supposed to be checking the men's or the women's?"
I said "Women's."
Her response was "Are you sure?"
This made me think for a moment. Apparently Miranda had noticed something I didn't.
I looked at the 'woman' as 'she' was walking away.
I thought for a moment, and I said, "ummm....70%."
Miranda went to check the women's restroom and came back saying it was fine.
She said she KNEW there had to be some reason why 'it' walked up to me despite the fact that Miranda was standing right next to me.
So...reluctantly, I went to check the men's restroom.
To my horror, the restroom was in bad shape. This meant that the thing that reported the problem was male. I was sickened by that thought.
Now, I say that the bathroom was in bad shape, but in actuality, it was just in weird shape. There was a little bit of toilet paper on the floor in a few different places.
The main problem with the bathroom was that the floor was heavily littered with Skittles. Many of them were crushed. Several had their candy shells melting and flowing away from the candies.
It was definitely very odd.
However, I did not find anything on the seats of the toilets, as the thing told me there was. Apparently, it could not sit on the seat because it was covered in urine.
I could not confirm this issue.
I am more horrified at the fact that that THING was a guy.


::::CORRUPTION NOTICE::::
As most of the people that know me already know, I tend not to use profane language very often at all. Most of the people that know me have never heard me use profane language at all.
Well, tonight, I got off work a little early to play DDR with one of the employees.
He was taking a break between games, so I stepped to the side and acted like I was playing the paintball game using both guns. Now, I have never actually played a game using two guns. In acting like it, I thought for a moment how awesome it would be. I stated, out loud: "You know, I have never used two guns on a game before. I bet I could whoop ass."
I immediately froze as I realized I had just uttered a profane statement.
Usually alcohol is required before such a word would flow from my mouth.
I think I am being corrupted.
::::END NOTICE::::

I had a random memory tonight.
There are many points in my life upon which I can reflect and realize how much of a friggen dork I am. I remember back in 6th grade when this girl asked me a question. I had a crush on her at the time. She asked me "Have you heard of REM?" Me, being completely oblivious to the mainstream world, and not realizing this girl was trying to start up a flirtatious conversation with me, I responded with the first thing that popped into my head. "You mean, like, Rapid Eye Movement?"
Of course, she was referring to some band called R.E.M.
I had not heard of them at that time. Needless to say, she was not interested in me for very long.

Another random though...
in thinking about that, another extremely dorky moment popped into my head.
I was dating this girl. It was the summer of 2002. I was to visit her house to watch a film. We watched Star Wars, as was the agreement in our relationship. (She told me I HAD to watch all the Star Wars movies, and in return she agreed to watch all the Austin Powers films).
Well, after the movies, we were a little bored. Her sister was preparing to go to a swim meet. (Keep in mind, at this point, it is mid afternoon.)
I mentioned that we could always go swimming.
She asked if I had a swimsuit.
I cannot remember WHY I had a swimsuit in my car, but I did. So....we decided to head up to the public pool where her brother worked as a life guard. This was Fairhope, so these are clean people. The pool was large and very clean.
We swam around for a bit. We raced. We played. We romped. We cavorted. Then I devised some strange game. I cannot remember all the details, but basically, we placed a pool toy on one side of the pool. We then met in the middle. The object of the game was for her to try to get the toy from the first side and !!place!! it on the other side. She actually had to place it there, not throw it. We swapped turns on this too, so that I had to transfer the object.
The other person's job was to do anything to keep the first person from succeeding in transferring the object.
I do not know how I came up with this little game....but it is very good for heavy physical flirtatious contact. The wrestling got violent (in a fun way).
At one point, we were both under water.
She emerged from the water while I was still submerged. I popped up out of the water. My face was probably no more than 2 to 3 inches from her's. I would be willing to say just one inch.
Now....for the dorky part....
Instead of KISSING her, like I should have.
I just looked her dead in the eye and said, "Hello."
...
No wonder she dumped me.
She was the most amazing girl ever, but I had no relationship experience. I think girls kindof want a guy that knows what he is doing.
I think I am getting better, though. I seem to be slowly gaining confidence in myself and becoming more and more able to speak to girls.
I cannot explain why. I do not know from where the confidence comes. I have still not been on a date for a very long time. So it is not like I have had some recent practice.

Oh well, that's my most for now.
Goodnight, blog.